Undermotivation

I know Van Gogh would understand what I am about to say. I have very little motivation to paint, and I have not had much motivation for years now.

I have walls of paintings, plus a big storage area filled with paintings, some of which are successful, some of which are not. A lot of paintings were sold, probably for less money than they should be worth, but they sold.

My website has only made me one connection over these many years, and that brought me a couple of sales, but then it was over.

The gallery that has sold many paintings for me shut down.

My feeling is very few people want my work, and I have plenty for my own use. I know I am supposed to want to paint for my own satisfaction, process, etc. but that well is dry. I did all the work I wanted to do, solved the problems that interested me, and when I tried to do other work (spiritual symbolism, abstraction) it looked like crap to me and everyone else who saw it.

One of my sisters commented, "You would probably be painting if you had to sell to live on the income." Actually, when I was poor I could not afford to paint. Painting requires motivation, physical fitness, time and money. I have all but the motivation.

If I wanted to be gung-ho I could pursue representation in Houston, but I am tired, and I hate selling.